When Rules Trump Decency Because Gay Love is Illegal

Photo courtesy of Miami Herald

"As her partner of 17 years slipped into a coma, Janice Langbehn pleaded with doctors and anyone who would listen to let her into the woman's hospital room.

Eight anguishing hours passed before Langbehn would be allowed into Jackson Memorial Hospital's Ryder Trauma Center. By then, she could only say her final farewell as a priest performed the last rites on 39-year-old Lisa Marie Pond.

Jackson staffers advised Langbehn that she could not see Pond earlier because the hospital's visitation policy in cases of emergency was limited to immediate family and spouses -- not partners. In Florida, same-sex marriages or partnerships are not recognized. On Friday, two years after her partner's death, Langbehn and her attorneys were in federal court, claiming emotional distress and negligence in a suit they filed last June.

Jackson attorneys filed a motion to dismiss the case on grounds that the hospital has no obligation to allow patients' visitors.

Following a hearing lasting more than an hour Friday, U.S. District Judge Adalberto Jordan said he would try to decide soon whether the case could proceed to trial. He gave no specific date."

Source: Miami Herald, Friday, February 6, 2009 (Click here for the entire article).

Such is the sad tale of a woman who only desired to be at the bedside of her partner. All this trauma was preventable. Only if this Sunshine State recognized at least domestic partnerships.

For me, love is a "beautiful thing," to borrow a cliche. So if this love is true and tried, then why not accord it the dignity it deserves? Why not offer it the recognition society claims bonds the relationship? And hasn't this woman--and countless of other gay couples in committed relationships--demonstrated that they do meet the obligations of such sanctified unions? Are we a better society if we allow such tragedies to play out?

Are You Tired of Hunting on Manhunt?

For lots of gay men, cruising hookup or dating sites has become a way of life. It is as trendy as wearing Calvin Klein underwear or as hip as donning Skeecher footwear. After all, come to think of, all three run together--sex, body, and image. No self-respecting gay man would be caught dead garbed in Arrow shirts, and similarly no one would admit that he has never had a profile on at least one such site.

But now researchers argue that popular gay hookup or dating sites such as Manhunt, Adam4Adam, and gay.com, just to name a few, have encouraged gay men to create fraudulent alter egos. They have enabled subscribers to "sell" online pornographic versions of themselves. They promote a form of addiction. And they sanction the creation of a secret life. All that is true.

But what about the benefits of these sites?

For one thing, you save time. Have you ever entered a dimly lit bar or club? Have you ever furtively search for one face, one body, that you are slightly interested in? If so, fear not. Come to one of these sites. Notwithstanding people who post old photos dating back to the age of the dinosaurs, let us just say there is a lot to see, and much more than what you can glean in that bar or club.

Then again, you must consider what these fellow cruisers are looking for. If you are looking for real, and I mean, real dates, complete with conversations, then you must come to these sites. Sure, you will be hard pressed to find what you are looking for, but fear not. If you spend countless of hours, searching page after page of photos and profile texts, eventually you will stumble upon that one fantastic, earth-shattering profile of an angelic man and his pictures that are straight out of a Hollywood studio. So, assuming you haven't lost your job looking for these profiles while at work, you will find your Prince Charming. Never mind if the guy turns out a bit older than what his profile says, or a little chubbier than what the picture leads you to believe, or that his marketing job actually is a telemarketer one.

If you are still not convinced that these sites are worth your time, consider this important factor. The TV world has so many reality shows on these days, so much so that you can be forgiven if you start imagining yourself in one of these shows, including those "find a husband" type. So now imagine yourself online, searching these sites for Mr. Right. What you are doing is no different from being on a reality show. Fact and fiction are entwined now, and life could not be better.